Last month I had the pleasure of taking Hilary Cartwright's Yoga for Dancers workshop. Hilary was one of the co-founders of White Cloud, the first GYROTONIC® studio. An incredible teacher, Hilary embodies the core principles of GYROTONIC® movement while teaching in a modality that she has really made her own.
The three day workshop consisted of a three hour class every morning, followed by a lunch break and an afternoon review session where we went over some of the choreography and the energy behind the movements. About half the class was made up of standing exercises, and about half seated on the floor or lying down. There was a huge breathing emphasis.
At the end of the third day I felt better physically than I have ever felt. That night I noticed that the scar from my surgery was significantly less visible. I realized that movements which I had felt stretching adhesions and scar tissue on the first day of the workshop felt completely different on the third day.
At one point in the workshop Hilary had mentioned an experience in a hospital, post abdominal surgery, when she had to blow into a breath strength measuring device. I had to use the same device, and I remember how difficult it had been to move any volume of air. I'm quite sure the breathing emphasis in Hilary's workshop, and the corresponding movement patterns, were responsible for the sudden and profound change in my body.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Post-Surgery 3
A few weeks have gone by and I've been able to move quite a bit more. Someone told me that doctors recommend 12-14% body fat for recovery after surgery, and I usually hang out around 8-9%, so I used it as an excuse to eat ice cream three times a day for a little while. That made me feel like crap, and I'm still down about fifteen pounds from before surgery. I've had a hard time doing any kind of cardiovascular work, with energy being really low, but I ran yesterday and the weight loss certainly made that more pleasant. I think the loss of muscle mass, along with the fact that I have been pretty consistent with GYROTONIC and GYROKINESIS, made it wonderfully easy to feel the swinging of the femur in the hip socket, and the efficiency of the psoas for this task when you let it do its job.
I was terrified to get back into breathwork, since people say it's so hard after anesthesia. I was warned about how hard it would be to stay in my body, as well as the potential to relive the pain of the surgery that I was knocked out for but was probably stored cellularly. Thus far when I've breathed the actual session hasn't been that bad, but for the rest of the day afterwards the scar is very painful (I hope because it's healing).
Most of the internal aches have gone away. The scar is still pretty sensitive. I can't bear weight on the pubic bone for prone exercises, since that's the most tender spot. In working on prone extension exercises, I've noticed how much I tend to breathe into my belly (which is engaged but protruding) to facilitate the extension. I've sensed for a while that exercises like rocking were too easy for me because of this, and as I work on keeping my belly narrower and breathing more into the thoracic, I do get the sense that it's a healthier pattern.
I've been working on plenty of abdominal exercises, and the only ones that don't feel safe yet are where I'm lying down and my legs are suspended low to the floor. I've noticed in curling my spine how a pattern that was already there a little bit is more pronounced- a tendency to shift the ribcage to the right. I know my left psoas is tighter than the right, and I think with the recent trauma to the left side of my viscera, those tissues are a little freaked out. I had kind of masked the original imbalance under a lot of muscle mass, and right now it's more visible since I'm so skinny. I'm trying to move slowly for now on curling exercises so I'm sure to engage and lengthen through the left side, and I'm spending plenty of time stretching it.
I was terrified to get back into breathwork, since people say it's so hard after anesthesia. I was warned about how hard it would be to stay in my body, as well as the potential to relive the pain of the surgery that I was knocked out for but was probably stored cellularly. Thus far when I've breathed the actual session hasn't been that bad, but for the rest of the day afterwards the scar is very painful (I hope because it's healing).
Most of the internal aches have gone away. The scar is still pretty sensitive. I can't bear weight on the pubic bone for prone exercises, since that's the most tender spot. In working on prone extension exercises, I've noticed how much I tend to breathe into my belly (which is engaged but protruding) to facilitate the extension. I've sensed for a while that exercises like rocking were too easy for me because of this, and as I work on keeping my belly narrower and breathing more into the thoracic, I do get the sense that it's a healthier pattern.
I've been working on plenty of abdominal exercises, and the only ones that don't feel safe yet are where I'm lying down and my legs are suspended low to the floor. I've noticed in curling my spine how a pattern that was already there a little bit is more pronounced- a tendency to shift the ribcage to the right. I know my left psoas is tighter than the right, and I think with the recent trauma to the left side of my viscera, those tissues are a little freaked out. I had kind of masked the original imbalance under a lot of muscle mass, and right now it's more visible since I'm so skinny. I'm trying to move slowly for now on curling exercises so I'm sure to engage and lengthen through the left side, and I'm spending plenty of time stretching it.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Post-Surgery 2
Went back to work this week and dealing with new challenges. I had a sub cover my Monday evening GYROKINESIS® class, and took the class to see how it felt. While the movements felt fine muscularly (challenging but safe), the biggest problem I faced was the friction of the healing scar on my abdominals against my clothes! I only made it through part of the class, as the discomfort from this situation was overwhelming. I went straight to the drugstore where I bought some castor oil. It came highly recommended for healing scar tissue, and I've been massaging it onto the scar twice a day. Today I taught GYROKINESIS for the first time since the surgery, and it went well. Very soft sweatpants and shirt helped.
This was the first full hour of exercise I've had in a few weeks, and energetically it felt good. I moved a little slower than usual, and had more time than usual to assess where I was moving from. Especially when arching, because it's so challenging right now, I got a better feel for which muscles in the front and back body were engaging to make the motions happen. As someone who tends to hold tension in my abdominals, exploring ways to keep my solar plexus connected without restricting the arch is always a challenge, so this was a good experience and I know I have a long way to go.
Speaking of holding tension in the abdominals, I've noticed that when I completely relax my low belly, I get a dull ache in my low back, as well as some discomfort in my pelvic floor. I've been playing with gently engaging and trying to lengthen from a little higher up in the core (more like L2/3 instead of L5/S1), and I think it helps, but these muscles are still quite compromised. Also, I suspect my organs (which are still confused by the prescription laxatives I've been on since surgery) need to adjust and settle into a home a little lower down than they're used to, and this move is rather uncomfortable.
This was the first full hour of exercise I've had in a few weeks, and energetically it felt good. I moved a little slower than usual, and had more time than usual to assess where I was moving from. Especially when arching, because it's so challenging right now, I got a better feel for which muscles in the front and back body were engaging to make the motions happen. As someone who tends to hold tension in my abdominals, exploring ways to keep my solar plexus connected without restricting the arch is always a challenge, so this was a good experience and I know I have a long way to go.
Speaking of holding tension in the abdominals, I've noticed that when I completely relax my low belly, I get a dull ache in my low back, as well as some discomfort in my pelvic floor. I've been playing with gently engaging and trying to lengthen from a little higher up in the core (more like L2/3 instead of L5/S1), and I think it helps, but these muscles are still quite compromised. Also, I suspect my organs (which are still confused by the prescription laxatives I've been on since surgery) need to adjust and settle into a home a little lower down than they're used to, and this move is rather uncomfortable.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Post-Surgery
In the past I've dedicated this blog mostly to thoughts about the space and equipment at our studio, but a drought of material along those lines, and a recent unexpected event, have given me some more material.
Two weeks ago today I landed in the ER with severe internal bleeding, and quickly made it into the OR for surgery. Once the surgeons drained almost a gallon of blood and located the damaged blood vessel, they were abe to repair it pretty easily. Unfortunately along the way they had to slice open my entire abdominal wall. I have an incision above the belly button where they tried to go in laparoscopically, then another one from the belly button to the public bone where they had to open everything once they realized just how much blood was in the way. So while the original injury will be quick to heal, I had to spend a week in the hospital in bed, waiting for my body to wake up and get ready to move again, and for the cut to begin to heal. And it will be quite a road to recovery.
So I hope to share some of the highlights along the way, as they might be interesting for anyone who wants to understand how the body works, how it moves, and how it heals. The only definite restriction placed on my movement is no heavy lifting (over twenty pounds) for seven weeks. So I shan't be seeing my personal trainer for a while. Beyond that they told me to listen to my body and give the abdominals time and gentle encouragement to reattach and resume their role in my life. This is hard.
I've been experiencing a variety of sensations around the affected area. In the hospital I experienced lower back pain for the first time in my life. It took about a week to be able to stand up straight; my belly was so locked up at first when I tried to walk I was hunched way forward. When I tried a simple cat/cow on the floor, my best attempt at cow (spinal extension) got me about to a flat back, and I felt an intense stretch in my abdominals doing it.
So I'm trying to discern between healthy stretching and overdoing it. While the scar has been healing I've been careful about not ripping it open, and now that it's pretty much closed up I'm watching out for any movement that might herniate it by putting too much pressure outwards. With the incision going through the linea, the thing to watch out for is the compromised fascia that normally encases the muscle fibers. So I'm moving slowly and in any movements that engage the abdominals I'm making sure they go in rather than pressing out.
Then there are all the strange things I'm feeling from deeper layers. I can feel the scar tissue under the surface when I press along the side of the incision. There's also a strange bruised sensation around the low belly, especially to the left of the belly button where the actual injury was. While I was bleeding internally the most painful part was all the pressure that built up in the pleura level of tissue; the nerves running through the solar plexus sent intense radiating pain throughout my body, especially up into my shoulders. I suspect the pleura (which also had to be cut in order to get access to the burst blood vessel) is a bit in shock and will take time to heal up. My digestive tract had to get moved around quite a bit during surgery as well, and anesthesia and a week on morphine did a number on it, so I've been experiencing a lot of cramps, odd pulling, and dull aching feelings in there. And the occasional low back ache.
One morning this week I was lying in bed and turned onto my side, a position that was impossible for a while due to the pain in my abdomen. This time I felt discomfort, but I could tell it wasn't dangerous, and decided to give it some time to let my organs settle in that position. I felt what I imagined to be stretching scar tissue both close to the surface and a bit deeper, and I breathed as deeply as I could (not all that deeply) for a few minutes. Eventually the sensation died down. When I turned onto my back again I felt more open and relaxed than I had since the surgery, and since then have felt much more mobile. I decided to explore those movements that give me a similar feeling and try to breathe into them as I heal.
Two days ago I had a session with a wonderful bodyworker in the Alexander Technique, Robyn Avalon. Normally in my sessions with her we work on particular anatomy and movement ideas that I'm exploring, but this time I just laid on the table and let her use her hands to accelerate the healing process. She was able to release a lot of tension in my body very quickly, and also took me on a bit of a mental journey. I hadn't mentioned the low back pain to her, but she mentioned that it was a possibility in my future as a result of the surgery. She also suggested I could avoid this by choosing different movement patterns that are healthier. As she worked with her hands and looked off into space, I let my mind wander. Robyn talked about a fork in the road, where I would choose between the path that would lead to more pain, and one that would lead to greater ease. As she talked I meditated on a lot of the things that I thought about while I was in the hospital: What activities are important to me? Which relationships nurture me? What is the persona I am building and presenting to the world? Whenever I thought about the people and activities that I know in my heart are good for my development, Robyn had a strong reaction and said I was headed down the right path. Whenever I thought of self-destructive behaviors and people who are not good for me, she encouraged me to find the path again. Through all of this I was silent, but the connection between my spiritual health and physical health was so clear that I had a good cry.
Two weeks ago today I landed in the ER with severe internal bleeding, and quickly made it into the OR for surgery. Once the surgeons drained almost a gallon of blood and located the damaged blood vessel, they were abe to repair it pretty easily. Unfortunately along the way they had to slice open my entire abdominal wall. I have an incision above the belly button where they tried to go in laparoscopically, then another one from the belly button to the public bone where they had to open everything once they realized just how much blood was in the way. So while the original injury will be quick to heal, I had to spend a week in the hospital in bed, waiting for my body to wake up and get ready to move again, and for the cut to begin to heal. And it will be quite a road to recovery.
So I hope to share some of the highlights along the way, as they might be interesting for anyone who wants to understand how the body works, how it moves, and how it heals. The only definite restriction placed on my movement is no heavy lifting (over twenty pounds) for seven weeks. So I shan't be seeing my personal trainer for a while. Beyond that they told me to listen to my body and give the abdominals time and gentle encouragement to reattach and resume their role in my life. This is hard.
I've been experiencing a variety of sensations around the affected area. In the hospital I experienced lower back pain for the first time in my life. It took about a week to be able to stand up straight; my belly was so locked up at first when I tried to walk I was hunched way forward. When I tried a simple cat/cow on the floor, my best attempt at cow (spinal extension) got me about to a flat back, and I felt an intense stretch in my abdominals doing it.
So I'm trying to discern between healthy stretching and overdoing it. While the scar has been healing I've been careful about not ripping it open, and now that it's pretty much closed up I'm watching out for any movement that might herniate it by putting too much pressure outwards. With the incision going through the linea, the thing to watch out for is the compromised fascia that normally encases the muscle fibers. So I'm moving slowly and in any movements that engage the abdominals I'm making sure they go in rather than pressing out.
Then there are all the strange things I'm feeling from deeper layers. I can feel the scar tissue under the surface when I press along the side of the incision. There's also a strange bruised sensation around the low belly, especially to the left of the belly button where the actual injury was. While I was bleeding internally the most painful part was all the pressure that built up in the pleura level of tissue; the nerves running through the solar plexus sent intense radiating pain throughout my body, especially up into my shoulders. I suspect the pleura (which also had to be cut in order to get access to the burst blood vessel) is a bit in shock and will take time to heal up. My digestive tract had to get moved around quite a bit during surgery as well, and anesthesia and a week on morphine did a number on it, so I've been experiencing a lot of cramps, odd pulling, and dull aching feelings in there. And the occasional low back ache.
One morning this week I was lying in bed and turned onto my side, a position that was impossible for a while due to the pain in my abdomen. This time I felt discomfort, but I could tell it wasn't dangerous, and decided to give it some time to let my organs settle in that position. I felt what I imagined to be stretching scar tissue both close to the surface and a bit deeper, and I breathed as deeply as I could (not all that deeply) for a few minutes. Eventually the sensation died down. When I turned onto my back again I felt more open and relaxed than I had since the surgery, and since then have felt much more mobile. I decided to explore those movements that give me a similar feeling and try to breathe into them as I heal.
Two days ago I had a session with a wonderful bodyworker in the Alexander Technique, Robyn Avalon. Normally in my sessions with her we work on particular anatomy and movement ideas that I'm exploring, but this time I just laid on the table and let her use her hands to accelerate the healing process. She was able to release a lot of tension in my body very quickly, and also took me on a bit of a mental journey. I hadn't mentioned the low back pain to her, but she mentioned that it was a possibility in my future as a result of the surgery. She also suggested I could avoid this by choosing different movement patterns that are healthier. As she worked with her hands and looked off into space, I let my mind wander. Robyn talked about a fork in the road, where I would choose between the path that would lead to more pain, and one that would lead to greater ease. As she talked I meditated on a lot of the things that I thought about while I was in the hospital: What activities are important to me? Which relationships nurture me? What is the persona I am building and presenting to the world? Whenever I thought about the people and activities that I know in my heart are good for my development, Robyn had a strong reaction and said I was headed down the right path. Whenever I thought of self-destructive behaviors and people who are not good for me, she encouraged me to find the path again. Through all of this I was silent, but the connection between my spiritual health and physical health was so clear that I had a good cry.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Instructor Collaboration
This week I was teaching a client with very tight hamstrings, who has been struggling with this tightness for the two years I've worked with him. He asked me if they would ever get any better. I thought of my partner Kelli and how she has shared her thoughts with me about the control issues that come up with hamstring stretching. Fortunately Kelli was on hand, so I asked her to articulate her views on the issue. It was so helpful to have another voice there to allow my client to hear what I've been saying to him said in a different way. I have some hope that he will actually allow himself to feel the sensation of a hamstring stretch, and spend some time stretching on his own.
I've often felt that one of the greatest assets our studio has is the open space. There's a transparency to our sessions that encourages people to let go and enjoy themselves, and accept feedback from multiple instructors. I get to collaborate with my coworkers daily, and as I observe them teaching I get to see and hear their best cues and observations. I also get to see their clients in motion and learn more about healthy movement. No wonder my job is never boring!
I've often felt that one of the greatest assets our studio has is the open space. There's a transparency to our sessions that encourages people to let go and enjoy themselves, and accept feedback from multiple instructors. I get to collaborate with my coworkers daily, and as I observe them teaching I get to see and hear their best cues and observations. I also get to see their clients in motion and learn more about healthy movement. No wonder my job is never boring!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Something Fishy
Our fish tank, which has delighted us since its arrival last summer, became a focal point during the Alexander Technique workshop we hosted last week. Robyn Avalon, our Alexander mentor, spent a few minutes when she arrived watching our goldfish and snails with me. My intent when I set up the tank (aside from satisfying a caretaking need) was to provide examples of fluid, integrated movement. Robyn pointed out another great asset: the sound the flow of the filter makes. During our workshop, as we trained each other on the GYROTONIC® equipment, she repeatedly asked: "Can you hear the fish?" She drew our attention to the importance of staying present in the room. At certain challenging moments in the exercises, both client and instructor tended to tense up and lose connection with our bodies and the space around us. We found we could no longer feel the equipment with the sensitivity we needed. When we became more aware of this tendency, and tried to remain receptive enough to hear the fish tank, we were able to move with greater ease, fluidity, and integration. What an awesome lesson!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Modified Reformer
Mike from Kula Solutions has helped us out with another project we've been thinking about for a while. Amy Alpers, one of our mentors from the Pilates Center at Boulder, gave us some ideas for making our Peak reformers more ergonomically correct. On one of our reformers, we've moved the shoulder blocks slightly forward on the carriage, which lengthened the headrest and allows people truly to REST the back of the head. This has been especially helpful for people with long necks. We also added a setting to the footbar height, so that we have more control of the angle of the legs on footwork. It is wonderful to see the way the weight of the springs can travel smoothly up the body when the angles of the leg joints aren't compromised!
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